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Why Bingo can Banish Estate Agency stereotypes

Here’s a little bit of festive fun folks. This week’s Sunday sermon looks at how to exorcise jargon from your estate agency marketing especially your canvassing letters.

“You can’t trust a word they say.”

“All they do is whack the property online and wait.”

“They’d stitch up their granny if it meant getting more money.”

The above are comments I’ve heard about estate agents. ‘Dishonest.’ ‘Lazy.’ ‘Greedy.’

Defending Decent Agents

These, in my opinion and experience are generally untrue stereotypes and wildly inaccurate.

I know there are far more decent, hardworking, honest and capable agents than there are those who fuel the negative perceptions.

However, agents don’t help themselves sometimes with their choice of words.

A friend of mine inspired the idea for this blog a while back when he spoke about his experience with a central London estate agency chain. He said: “They talked so much utter bollocks and jargon that I burst out laughing at one point.”

No Laughing Matter

Here’s a taster of some overused words and nonsensical phrases I see on agency websites and property marketing and which I’ve featured on my new game – Estate Agent B***ocks Bingo.

It’s a sheet I’ve come up with containing 25 pearls of property patter preposterousness. To play it, you go through your website and property marketing materials and every time you spot a word on the sheet, you mark it off.

Eyes Down

These are four of my favourites.

Vendor: Sounds like a character from a Harry Potter book rather than a home seller.

Applicant: This one always reminds me of something you use to put on a cream instead of a potential buyer.

Moments from the Town Centre: Jesus Christ. It’s about a flat overlooking a Tesco Express. In all honesty, it should’ve said ‘you’ve more chance of finding Shergar being ridden by Lord Lucan while giving Elvis a backie, than bagging a nearby parking space.’

Bijou – What the f**k? I asked Mrs L what she thought it meant, and she replied: “It’s a little dog, isn’t it?”

The point is the words you choose and use matter. They create your agency’s tone of voice, and if that tone doesn’t resonate with your ideal community, ALL your messages will fall on deaf ears.

Canvassing letters are one area of estate agency marketing where I see the most jargon or bland as old blancmange copy. This is a sin in the eyes of good marketing folk.

I can save your souls with my champion canvassing packs and bespoke prospecting letters.

But that’s another story.

Wishing all of you in estate agency land a Merry Christmas.


Father Jerry Michael Lyons of the church of

Sound interesting?

Book in a 20-minute chat with Jerry to find out more.

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